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21 Reasons to Hire me as a Writer
- Because I was a gypsy acrobat. No really, I was.
- Because I count among my dearest friends a plumber, a painter, a reformed gangster, an Islamic mysticism scholar/visual anthropologist, a polyamorous Buddhist nanny, and a professional skate ninja.
- Because I had a drink with a nuclear weapons disposer in Chiang Mai. Yes, the guy who escorted weapons to their point of disposal. He was a portly, balding ginger, who relaxed by climbing Mount Everest and wanted to buy a fellow traveler a drink. He didn’t quite get what he wanted, but I got a story.
- Because I've known enough skaters and hippies and businessmen and carpet cleaners to have a plethora of terrible jokes and pick up lines to draw from at will.
- Because I make self-deprecating jokes, but somehow always seem to botch 'it.
- Because when I taught high school in East Oakland, I made my students create original cultures as part of a an assignment. One group made up Gangster Island where Ice Cube’s Mom made all the food, and the native greeting consisted of “Flashing” on somebody. If they didn’t flinch, you gave them a nod and welcomed them, “cause they gangsta.”
- Because I dreamt I was a daffodil once, it had nothing to with the fact that I was working at a flower shop.
- Because I know you gain the trust of your audience by paying attention to the details.
- Because I read.
- Because growing up in my house, when I asked for the definition of a word, my beat poet father gave me a 20min answer culminating in pulling out the dictionary.
- Because while giving birth at home I screamed at my midwife, “I know you have drugs and you’re just not sharing.”
- Because my years as a grant writer taught me that nothing matters more than clarity.
- Because I’ve taken enough greyhound bus rides to have spent hours talking with Veterans, the Amish, and Maggie Gyllenhall’s nanny.
- Because I do cartwheels when I’m stressed out.
- Because I’ll rewrite and rewrite and collaborate and question and fret until it is better. And better still.
- Because I read.
- Because I cured my fear of spiders by watching the movie Arachnaphobia again and again until I was desensitized.
- Because I believe every human born has a story to tell, every villain owns a wound deep enough to make you shudder, and every hero was once a coward.
- Because I’m a hopeless romantic, and in the realm of literature, I’m in damn good company.
- 20. Because I enjoy penetrating the depths of your psyche from the comfort of my own home.
- 21. Because I finish what I start.